Call. Me. Mother. Tee

Three words. Three periods. No room for negotiation. This shirt salutes Mamma Dearest! Here We Joan Again, Blake Fountain’s comedy staged by Friends of George’s at the Evergreen Theatre in November 2026, and it settles the matter in black script across the chest. Below it, a halftone portrait of Mother in pearls, every hair in place, lips in Red No. 2, the coal tar crimson the government banned in 1976 and Mother never forgave. Turn around and the Friends of George’s name is bent into a wire hanger. Mother has been informed. Mother is handling it.